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How to not marry the wrong man

Posted On July - 25 - 2011

Deep in their hearts, a lot of women know they should not make the step of marriage and yet they go to the altar with a man who will have to divorce later.

About 30% of divorced women knew he was not “the one” ever since they were headed toward the altar and all they said “Yes”, says a study led by Jennifer Gauvain, a therapist from Denver (U.S.). The obvious question is, if you know you are not marrying the right guy, then why do you do it?, Publication WebMD, is inviting us to find out why women are making too often the wrong step in life.

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For starting, you should blame Cinderella, says WebMD. “Women grow up with unrealistic impression of what love should be,” says study author Jennifer Gauvain. “Girls read stories in which she is rescued by prince and when they are older, the message is the same, only is updated through romantic comedies where love always matter, despite impossible scenario. So from all these sources, women learn that love always works, even when it is unhealthy. ”

Then you could blame the suspect nature of the physiological – the biological clock. Especially at 30 years women’s biological clock is ticking, saying it is time for them to base their family and have kids. “Age 30 sounded like an expired date for unmarried women,” said Gauvin. “Not only the years when you can have children go in a hurry but leave behind those twenty-odd years, a decade of experiencing, of one night attempts of mistakes you make as a couple or professionally. In the next decade you are seen as an adult who cannot afford any longer such extravagance. ”

In these circumstances, women rush to the altar, and actually worsening the situation. Even if you do not say out loud, most often women relieved when they can see the engagement ring on her finger. Becoming engaged can be a relief but often, this feeling distract you from the fact that the future husband may not be the best match.

Allison Moir-Smith, author of Emotionally Engaged says that “women often forget that marriage means more than a sumptuous wedding.” “You must get used with the idea that you are not alone but in the couple.”

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